Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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