Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
