So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
