I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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