Yo dont text me then not text me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
