There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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