did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
