you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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