Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
