I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
