LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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