What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
