he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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