similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
