K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize