Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
