So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize