Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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