i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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