I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
