I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
