so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why are your pants in the freezer?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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