So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
