someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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