buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
