how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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