he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
