Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
