is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
