I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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