i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
