The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
