then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
