I got chris browned last night
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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