She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
