Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
