my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need a beard to bite.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
