is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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