I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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