The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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