if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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