We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
