what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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