Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
