Your tits are I can't wait for
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
