I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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