I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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