Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
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