I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
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