Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I need a beard to bite.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
