Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
