Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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