We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
