You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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