i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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