Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
