Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
