this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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