I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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