I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
