i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
