Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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