you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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