guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
