He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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