I have demons in me.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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