we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
