btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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