This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
